Lately I have been reflecting on my faith and how it has informed my life all these years. As one who was raised in the church, my early years as a Christian (saved at 12 years old) were mostly an attempt to display what I thought was good Christian behavior. I learned the lingo and tried really hard to do the right things. At the time I only knew worship to be great songs that lead to emotional crying/shouting, dancing, and a few people falling out at the altar in the spirit, but I understood none of it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good ole praise break and genuine worship where God does what only He can in our hearts. But with age, experiencing various hardships, and hearing the gospel preached over and over, I realized that being a Christian is more than trying to be good or going to lit worship services.

A few days ago, I made a night run to the store with my 9-month-old daughter in tow. It was a cold and rainy night, so I decided I would keep my daughter in her car seat when I transferred her to the shopping cart to alleviate the extra hassle in the rain (this context serves a purpose so keep tracking with me). I usually choose self-checkout when available and I’m pretty good about double checking the cart to make sure I didn’t miss anything, so tonight was no different. As I made my way out of the store, the alarm goes off. The attendant and cop sitting at the exit did not stop me I assume because they watched me purchase my items and trusted they were all accounted for. I also disregarded the alarm as I was sure I had scanned all my items. As I get to my car and lift my daughter’s car seat, I see a multipack of sippy cups roll into view.

Shoot! I missed those cups! I was annoyed because I was ready to get home out of the rain and my daughter was already fussy because it was past her bedtime. My first thought was, “I don’t feel like going back in there. Technically, they didn’t check me when that alarm went off, so I don’t think they’ll care about these $3.12 cups.” I proceed to click my daughter into place and close the door. As I’m about to head around to the driver’s side, I hear a small voice speak to my heart, “Take those cups back.” I knew this was the Holy Spirit providing a way of escape from this temptation to sin (1 Cor 10:13). Driving home with those cups that I didn’t scan is stealing no matter how I tried to justify it. I went back around to grab my daughter and took the cups back to the store.

On the drive home, shame and guilt fell heavy on me. Why was my first thought to just drive home with those cups? Why did the Lord have to remind me to do what is right? I shouldn’t still be battling with these basic principles being a Christian over 20 years. Then these scriptures popped in mind from Romans 7:21-24:

“So I discover this law: When I want to do what is good, evil is present with me. 22For in my inner self I delight in God’s law, 23but I see a different law in the parts of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and taking me prisoner to the law of sin in the parts of my body. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?”

Then comes the encouragement from Romans 8: (1-3, 7-9):

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, 2because the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law could not do since it was weakened by the flesh, God did. He condemned sin in the flesh by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh as a sin offering… 7The mindset of the flesh is hostile to God because it does not submit to God’s law. Indeed, it is unable to do so. 8Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. 9You, however, are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you.”

The weight of grief over my sin instantly lifted and joy filled my heart. This is why the Good News of the Gospel can never become old news. I need to be reminded constantly that while we were still in sin, Christ died for us because He loved us (Romans 5:8). On my own I am weak, however through Christ’s sacrificial death and victorious resurrection, the power of sin and death was defeated therefore as a Christian, I am victorious over sin through Christ, not my strong efforts alone. This truth frees me from the guilt of my imperfections and leads me to rest in the perfect God whose Holy Spirit lives within me to comfort and remind me of the truth of His word.

So now, I can worship from a heart of gratitude, understanding the gift of God’s grace. Sometimes that looks like singing, crying tears of joy, or dancing in my living room. Often times, it looks like seeking opportunities to glorify Him with my life through loving my neighbor, obeying His Word, and constantly laying down pride and self-reliance. The desire to do good is no longer an attempt to earn His love, but rather a response to His love.

With Good News like this, how could I not delight?