Prepare the Way
Savannah at 2 years old!
Titus at 9 months!
Last week marked the entry into my 3rd trimester with my 5th (3rd on Earth) child, another sweet little girl. Though nesting started early into my 2nd trimester, I am still very much in prep mode.
I have cleaned, organized, and painted just about all I can to get her nursery ready so now it’s mostly mental prep. I feel a little nervous just thinking about how I will manage with a school age child whom I’m educating from home, an active toddler who needs potty training, and a wee little newborn who will be total care and rightfully demanding of my attention for quite some time.
Recalling my adjustment to mothering two just two years ago, I know that everything will ultimately be ok and I will learn to adapt during the transition, but I still try to consider practical ways to adjust my life and household in a way where we all can function well together. Transitions can feel a little chaotic at first, ya know?
Over the past month, I’ve noticed areas in my life where I’m not being as intentional. One of those areas concerns my children. Below is a list of personal areas in my life in need of improvement.
Responsibility
The pictures above make my heart ache. My babies! Where has the time gone? Though both older (Savannah’s almost 6 and Titus is 2), I still have to remind myself that my children are capable of comprehending and doing so much more than I credit them for and need Sherrod’s and my guidance to prepare them for a more independent life. One of the ways I can prepare them is teaching them to do age appropriate tasks that they previously relied on me to do. Savannah is old enough to load the dishwasher, place her dirty laundry in the wash, make a sandwich and more. Titus is old enough to pick up the toys he’s finished playing with.
Can I be honest? In this season, it feels SO much easier to just do it myself. It gets done quicker with an outcome more favorable to my expectations. It seems SO much more tedious to slow down and teach them how. I often lose patience and depending on the day, neglect the consistency necessary for them to build the new habit. What I have learned from this up and down coaster is that I end up more exhausted and frustrated because doing it all not only negates their responsibility, but teaches them to not value work. If they are to lead responsible lives, work is required.
Boundaries
I struggle with mom guilt. It’s not necessarily inflicted by others, but by my own unrealistic expectations of myself. Somehow, I keep believing the lie that I can do all and be all to everyone and somehow do it all well. I find myself trying to be the super engaged mom who plays with her kids all the time and always stops to listen or watch, even if it’s the100th time I’ve seen the super amazing twirl. Don’t get me wrong, taking moments to slow down and be present with your children are beautiful ways to remind them that they are loved, seen, and valued. But just as important is setting a standard for times when mom is not available.
Some examples of areas where boundaries are needed in *MY* household are:
Interrupting conversations whether in person or on the phone simply to interject a non-emergent statement.
Entering mommy and daddy’s room without knocking.
Following me into the bathroom
Lack of personal play/quiet time
Designated snack and meal times vs. eating ALL DAY LONG!
*Please note the emphasis on MY.
I understand that everyone manages their households differently, and some of the areas on my list may not apply or concern you. I am not implying that one should worship the ideal of perfect children who will always maintain the boundaries set. It is once again about the teaching and training up of the children (Proverbs 22:6) that helps them to live and lead responsible and respectful lives.
Example
More than the previous two, I often fall short in leading by example. This is one area that parents can easily dismiss that heavily impacts a child’s motivation to follow and obey. We are instructed in Titus 2:7 to have integrity and dignity in our teaching.
I remember one morning checking the kids’ room and scolding my daughter about her dirty clothes on the floor, only to come to my own room and see clothes amongst other random things spread on the floor too. I was instantly convicted. Do as I say and not as I do just won’t work. Before I can expect my children to do anything I say, I should be living it out in a way that encourages them and be humble enough to admit when I am missing the mark. I remember reading through Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp a few years ago and being reminded to show and express to my children that I am just as in need of grace as they are. The focal point of my teaching and training my children is obedience to God not just me, for he gives the command for children to obey their parents (Ephesians 6: 1-3).
I am thankful that these areas have been highlighted recently and even more thankful for the opportunity to work on them now before our household gets just a little more crazy in a couple months. The biggest encouragement for me is knowing I’m not alone. God promises to be near those who call on him in truth (Psalm 145: 18). I also know that I have a community of women who have traveled this road before and know a thing or two. Thank God! Pray for me y’all!
What are some things you’ve incorporated in your household to make the days go smoother? What are some areas where you struggle? I’d love to hear about it below.
